“Why I started my own Coaching Company”
In the video I answer a letter from a guy who was wondering whether he should sign up to my course or a different course. Here’s the video:
In my reply, I explained to him that: “the other course you’re referring to is informative and especially reaches a lot of people’s desire for intellectual orientation – which is unfortunately much of what limits them with women in the first place. Out of respect for people’s intellectual needs, I won’t discourage you. I do however think (that for the money,) it’s best to learn to develop socially, in ways where you challenge that need for control at a more liminal, therapeutic, non-dual and lasting way.
You won’t be surprised to learn that most coaches get into the business because they are socially awkward, or not getting laid. Some coaches have transcended this social rut, and others stay in it, teaching curriculum that is still just ways of navigating around social fear, without dealing with the fear itself, in a lasting way.
Another way of saying this is that systems that endure with sexually and emotionally deprived coaches – and we ALL start there – try to teach the ‘trigger happy approach approach approach mindset’ in students. This works, for a limited time, where breaking the ice and repetition are the basis of the system. But where the basis of the system is finding a fundamental common ground at the understanding and emotional level, in everyone you talk to, a different kind of training is necessary, and a different conception of quality over quantity as well.
Another thing that I have seen on 7-10 day intensives is that students give over control and leadership to the teacher and the intensive process. This is also a shadow side of the overly-organized student mind. And you have a coach holding your hand the entire time.
Moreover, it takes months to process that much intensive social integration, so what happens is that students don’t integrate as well after the intensive. Most students have very thinky minds – not to mention, fathers who were not good mentors, both of these things lead to the student becoming dependent on the curriculum, the coach and the scheduled infield approach time.
It’s worth noting that this intensive approach DOES work on a meditation retreat, where you are faced with only your mind and your leadership comes into question directly, BUT after street coaching for 4 years in the intensive style alone, I can tell you it doesn’t normalize you socially the way a 30 day course – with 2-3 hours of class per day – guides you to operate independently.
It’s like comparing a trip to the mechanic to building your own car.
It is true that if you’re just looking for a kick in the ass, a short workshop is perfect, but on the 7-10 day workshops, every student I’ve ever seen who is drawn to my thinking – discovers that they need much more than a kick in the ass to walk up to a woman. Everyone who comes to our workshops have much deeper historical, parental or cultural walls to move through. This is why I’m so glad to be leading the workshops that I’m leading.
This is also why – for right now – I have the 30 day and the 3 day. The 3 day (from my website-) “breaks the ice of your approach fears, covering dating logistics, texting, live conversation skills, sexual intent vs. nice-guy concerns, plus a comprehensive reading of your internal fears and limitations which help you understand the path ahead to non-dual awakening.”
For the student’s I will attract, 3 days of non-duality pair work with approaches, is still better than a 7-10 day “seduction” workshop. And when I do 5, 10 or 15 day courses, non-duality training mixed with approaching and therapy is still – in my opinion – the path for lasting inner and outer change.
See you on the workshop,